The Personal Joy of Fatherhood blog by Chris Wallace

Often times, we as people go into the malls, stores or restaurants and see others with loud or "annoying" kids and say to ourselves "dang they can't control their own kids." Yea I'm guilty of doing such in the past as well but have come to the realization that kids are just gonna be kids. And now being a father of a two year old son, I see more (now than ever) the value of being a responsible father and leader to the lil fella who looks up to me. When my son Ren was born on Feb. 14, 2008 in the EARLY morning hours, I didn't have a clue what da heck I was gonna do, how I was gonna do it and all that other stuff. In fact, for the first time in my life, I felt like I had absolutely no answer for this challenge. Then I had to revert back to some past conversations I had with one of the greatest brothers of Alpha Phi Alpha I've ever met (Laurence) and my dad. They both basically said that parenting is "instinctive" and provided me tips on how to carry on and be effective. Two years and some change later, I have never in my life been so thrilled and fulfilled by such a happening. I have a healthy, energetic, handsome, smart and growing son who absolutely loves his father to pieces and I love it! For all the late night and early morning wake-ups, diaper changes, being spit up on, hurting ya back to carry the car seat, stroller and all that other baby stuff, having food and drink spilled on the floor, the sometimes unneccessary whining, the bad habits picked up from daycare and the constant worry about whether your child is ok or not, I would not trade it for anything in the world! Simply put, fatherhood is one of the most gratifying experiences ever! Often times, nothing else in the world really even matters when I think of my son and that's being truthful. I have watched him grow and develop over the last two years and its just an amazing thing to watch. Just keep watering and they'll keep growing..keep watering and they'll keep growing. I could NEVER EVER imagine leaving my son to be parented by a single mom, not giving a damn about his whereabouts/happenings, not being an active participant in his life, abusing him or anything of the horrible stories that we hear on a regular basis.

Man let me tell u..I work 8-10 hours a day in the office, I think about my family all day long and when I return home from work, I can hear my son in the room shouting "Dayeeeeeeeeee" and he sprints to the door with anticipation and as soon as that door opens up, he's there to greet me with a big ol smile and open arms ready to show daddy some love! And for the next several hours until his bedtime, he follows me around like he's my shadow. Then when it's time for bed, lil fella whines a lil and doesn't want to go to bed so I allow him to stay up (sometimes) and watch ESPN with me or read to him until he doses off on my chest. And as I watch him sleep, all I can think of are the endless possibilities for the lil fella.....the potential to be a future president, the opportunity to attend whatever college he wants to attend, the ability to be a leader in his community and his family, etc. Then I realize that at age 2, he still has a ways to go. But I'm a long-term thinker and want to prepare my son for what's next in his life. So while he's dibbling in play-doe and crayons, I'm dibbling in the books and using my "inner circle" figuring out a way to be a better leader and educate/empower my son effectively. After all, he will represent our family and we want him to do it well. And for the record, it's HE that will be making the decisions..not US. We, as parents, want to allow our son the freedom to choose what HE wants to do and not live through him but instead FOR him. Sometimes, people are so stuck in "workmode" or trying to "prove themselves" as leaders in their careers and in their communities and some don't even realize that their leadership in the household should be most important. It also helps to have a mommy that is absolutely on-point and brilliant and I'm so fortunate to have such. This woman has really taught me how to become a much better parent.

But all in all, raising my son is THE experience of a lifetime. It has taught me more about myself than I could have ever imagined and as a father, I am certainly still a work-in-progress. I have no shame in admitting such. I never thought in a million years, however, that I would feel so gratified being a father. I always looked at it as a JOB but as people say, "If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life." Thank you son for allowing daddy to never work a day in his life at home.